I should start with a bit about myself and my current situation. I am a rave dj and producer among a million other things. My intention for this blog is for it to be kind of a catch-all for what’s currently going on in my life and career, stories of my past, ideas, and other musings. I promised Clive I would write a book one day and perhaps this will be the beginning process of that.

So the jumping off point should be a little background of where I am at now. The last years have been exceptionally rough. In 2019 I was in an accident where a dumptruck quite literally crushed my car with me in it. There was a lot of pain and recovery in that and I was finally getting somewhere when covid hit and killed my physical therapy. Still, I persevered and got myself back to walking with a cane. Then on May 6th 2021 my legs just stopped working from spinal stenosis and disease known as OPLL. After this surgery I have had a myriad of complications surgeries and return trips to the hospital.

That brings us to the present where I have been in the hospital for a month. However, it looks like early next week I will be sent to another facility, which I am incredibly apprehensive about.

The facility is way south near florcovidia and no less than 3 hours from my entire support system. The place is a long term acute care (LTAC) hospital that also has intensive rehabilitation center. I would be stoked to go to an intensive rehabilitation center but they made it abundantly clear I will be in the LTAC and only receive physical therapy twice a week unless “I prove myself” then I can “maybe” transfer to intense rehab. Why do I have to “prove myself” and what does that even look like. Atleast here at the hospital I’m getting physical therapy 5 days a week.

The last LTAC I went to was horrible. It was the kind of place you hear stories of elder abuse at. It was like a prison cell with medical equipment and I had to beg for help getting a bath for a week and I kid you not sometimes the meat was green and the veggies were grey.

I’m also feeling stressed out because my doctors are all over me to get my a1c down even further but when we hit a protocol that works and i have normal blood sugar even once they reverse the protocol. Make it make sense. Why does existing have to be this hard. I just want to get better. I hate healthcare in America so much

I wish I felt like I had a choice in any of this…